Going through a divorce can be a long and painful journey for some of my clients, particularly those who believe that when they got married, they got married for life.
Some people consider that agreeing to stay married to someone, no matter what life throws at you both, is a ridiculous promise and one that may not be kept.
For those clients who do not want to get divorced, despite the fact that their partner does, I see it as my job to support and guide them during that journey and help them to achieve the best possible outcome for them and their family.
Sometimes it can be a very long journey. I had a case some time ago when my client just could not bring herself to divorce her husband even though they had been separated for 2 years and he was living with his new partner, when she came to see me.
It had been a long marriage, 30 years, all of their children were grown up but my client was not about to break her promise, their marriage was for life.
Thankfully and rather unusually, her husband with the help of his family lawyer, accepted that it was going to take my client some time to come to terms with the fact that her marriage had come to an end.
I am sure that it was easier for him because he had a new partner, the finances were such that he had bought a home for them and was able to move forward with his life, even though there were no divorce proceedings and financial matters had not been resolved.
It was not so easy for my client and I wondered if she would ever recover. It therefore came as a lovely surprise to get a card from her the other day, some 3 years after I had closed my file. I was so pleased to read that not only had she recovered but with the help and support of her children and the joy of her grandchildren, she was doing well.
It was particularly lovely that, 3 years after our last contact, she had these kind words to say about me:-
“You worked so hard for us to ensure that I would not be in need in my retirement. I have been able to use my time and resources to help the “children”.
I remain so grateful to you for your understanding of our family distress. You managed in my case to turn a very slow ship around into a direction that could still make headway and managed to do so whilst still upholding the importance of honesty and trust and the value of marriage. Impressive!”
I know that, at the beginning of your divorce journey, it can feel that there is no end in sight but as is shown above, all journeys, no matter how long they are, do come to an end.